So Very Grateful

Three years ago in November I started getting very sick. I was sure that it was just the intestinal flu because my gut just felt like it was on fire or very upset. It would also subside if I ate only a little mild food. People started telling me that it could be my gallbladder. I said no because I didn't have the right side upper abdominal pain that is suppose to be associated with gallbladder problems. Well one night when Peter was out of town I was in so much pain I decided to go to the ER. I dropped the three oldest at I friends house and took my 3 month old to the hospital with me. 4 hours later after some lab work and an ultrasound they gave me my diagnosis. A gallbladder full of stones that had to come out. My dear friend keep my kids overnight and I took the baby home. I called to schedule surgery the next day. Of course they couldn't get me in for 2 weeks. So surgery was scheduled for Dec. 2nd 2005. I had a very bland Thanksgiving dinner that year. But I was grateful to know what it was and that all I needed was a quick same day surgery to fix it. Ha Ha.





So the day of surgery 3 of the kids went to 1 house and E the baby went to another. The baby went with a bottle and a new can of formula. I had been nursing him but all the stress on my body had made me start to dry up and I was unable to pump any extra for him. I felt bad but figured a couple of days was not going to be too hard on him. Although none of the three previous kids would ever touch the stuff or a Binky. I had the laproscopic surgery at about 3 that day and stayed over night because I did not feel well. The next morning I went home. 12 hours later I started throwing up. I was unable to hold anything down including my pain meds. So I went back to the ER.







Meanwhile my sister was loading up the Uhaul in SLC with half of her earthly possessions and the ski's that I had asked my mom to save since we were kids, that I wanted to use for my boys. My sister was going to come out early to help us with our impending move to Pennsylvania and to help with the " heavy lifting" that I was not suppose to be doing after my easy out patient surgery for just 1 week then I was suppose to be fine. Well, she was loading the last ski's and slipped and fell off the truck. She ended up breaking her right arm right above her wrist and having to have surgery. As well as staying the hospital for a week.





So at the ER they ran all the standard blood and urine tests. Nothing! Abdominal Xray, again nothing. Enema-nothing. IV fluids, still having pain and not feeling better. OK we have to send you home. " What, I can not tolerate any food therefore you can't send me home." "I can't take my pain meds." The ER calls my surgeon and he comes in and sees me. He says that he will admit me and do a CT in the morning. So I am admitted and finally get some pain meds. The next day they did the CT. But before you can have a CT you have to drink a big bottle of contrast and if you can't drink then you have to have a NG or tube placed down your nose that goes into your stomach. This is one of the most unpleasant procedures that you can have done. Then they push the contrast through the tube. By the way I had every procedure done to me that I ever did on anyone else as a nurse.


The results -I am leaking bile! The surgeon nicked my bile duct. So they decide to place a stent into the bile duct and hope that the duct will heal while draining the bile through a small tube (PCN) to a bag that was on the outside of my body. About day three I started wondering how long I would be hanging out here in the Hospital.

Meanwhile my poor husband is going crazy. He had already started his new job in New Jersey and was commuting the 8 hours from NJ to Ohio almost every weekend. He ended up taking off the whole month of December. Boy did he have some big boots to fill when he got back in January. (His boss just as much told him so but not in so many words.) So Peter had to do something. Luckily Peter's sister Kim was available to come out and help us. Peter flew her out on the next available plane that she could get on. Kim was a total life saver. She did everything, she cooked and cleaned. She did laundry and homework. Not to mention take care of E a 3 1/2 month old baby who finally had to take the bottle and the Binky out of necessity. But most of all she loved my kids and supported my husband through the whole crazy mess. Kim I don't even know if you know how grateful we all are to you. Thank you for and your love, support, kindness and selflessness during that time. We would not have made it without you!

So as I said I'm now sitting the Hospital wondering what the next step is. I have been given a priesthood blessing by my husband and good family friend. Which did not promise any great miraculous endings to my current situation. Instead gave basic comfort in that the Lord knew me and my needs. Which I came to realize after was to humble me. So Friday morning I woke up and as soon as I sat up my bile bag filled with fluid. They called the surgeon's partner in, who happened to be the one they recommended in the first place. But he was scheduled out a month so I went with his partner. This little Jewish man comes in my room and says that I will have to go back to surgery. So now I had emergency surgery in which they found that my bile duct had completely died. So they had to take a piece of bowel to fix my bile duct. So now I have had open abdominal and bowel surgery. And I have a lovely long incision scar to show for it. So finally surgery is a success but he says the next week is critical. Well now it has been essentially a month since a have eaten anything. They now have to start a PICC line which is a central IV line because all my veins are totally fried. I also have to start IV food because now I have been in the hospital for seven days with nothing but IV fluids and they know that I am totally depleted and I have to have time to heal from the bowel surgery before I can eat again.

So gradually I got a little stronger each day but I had this over welling fear that if one more bad thing happened to me that I would have ended up in the ICU for months and maybe have never made it out. I knew that my body was at its wits end and that I could not take any more. This is why I am now grateful for this experience. I prayed a lot during this hospital stay. I came to the realization that I was just going through the paces. The Lord needed to humble me and literal bring me to my knees. I am so grateful that I made it through this experience and that in the end it had a happy ending. I felt after that a did pray with more real intent and that I did progress spiritually. And this experince reminds me that I still have to keep trying everyday.

So finally on Dec. 15th 2005 I finally got to go home. Kim went home for Christmas but then came back for another 6 weeks. In which time I threw out my back because I had no stomach muscles. I slowly recovered after that too. I really felt like it took a good six months for me to bond with my baby again but at least it did come back. And on Feb. 1st we moved to Pennsylvania. And my sister Tiffany made it out the day before we moved to help us with our move, bring my house plants and the ski's which we have still not used but still have great plans to use.